American Asperger's Association Support Group

Latest topics
» Chambers of Hope (COH) and American Aspergers Association (AAA)
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Jul 27, 2013 1:29 pm by csweepigirl

» Introductions
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 06, 2012 12:39 am by earthenvessel

» June 4th 2011
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Feb 25, 2011 6:22 am by csweepigirl

» Free Home Speech Practice Home offer
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 19, 2011 2:21 pm by csweepigirl

» Support group meeting and hbot volunteers
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Dec 20, 2010 9:35 am by Dr. Ron

» Favor....Locals..read..please...
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Oct 11, 2010 7:46 am by bondgary009

» Developmental Disabilities (AAIDD) is hosting the first of its best practices webinars
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 27, 2010 4:51 am by csweepigirl

» We need to start this website back up again!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Aug 23, 2010 2:33 am by man of a million names

» Group Home Manager is Yelling I Need Help
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 05, 2010 3:10 am by csweepigirl

» Facebook
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Jul 05, 2010 2:27 am by KelleyNNelson

» Support Group Meetings 2011 *EDITED*
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 3:57 am by KelleyNNelson

» community happenings!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 6:01 am by asg_tlm@hotmail.com

» Asperger's (how it is diagnosed and treated)
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 12, 2010 4:27 pm by csweepigirl

» What do you do when people look at you by the pills you take vs. the person you are?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 12, 2010 4:01 pm by csweepigirl

» Items under your nose that are gluten free, and cheap too!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 09, 2010 5:59 am by KelleyNNelson

» Adam
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 08, 2010 1:19 am by man of a million names

» Looking for friends
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 05, 2010 8:51 pm by channing28105

» Maas-Rowe Carillon Questions
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 05, 2010 8:51 pm by channing28105

» Video Emails from Dr. Ron
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue May 11, 2010 1:40 am by Dr. Ron

» Ah, it's good to be back.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat May 01, 2010 5:03 am by man of a million names

» 1st Annual Aspergers Volleyball Tournament
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 19, 2010 2:03 am by Dr. Ron

» free event: Therapeutic Recreation Adapted Sailing and Kayak Clinic
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 01, 2010 3:20 am by csweepigirl

» Help! I Seem to be Getting More Autistic!" ARTICLE
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 29, 2010 10:22 am by csweepigirl

» Was this teacher out of line?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Mar 03, 2010 10:31 pm by lovethefish

» OMG THE PLACE IS REMODELED!!!!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Mar 03, 2010 2:38 am by KelleyNNelson

» Got Plates?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 02, 2010 1:19 am by KelleyNNelson

» Local IEP Advocate!! THANKS VAL!!!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Feb 28, 2010 1:16 pm by csweepigirl

» Pinellas ESE advisory board meetings
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 27, 2010 12:31 am by lovethefish

» Dentists who use sedation.. thanks Dr. Ron
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 27, 2010 12:28 am by lovethefish

» Hey GAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 24, 2010 5:25 am by csweepigirl

» Autism in the news: WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A hormone thought to encourage bonding between mothers and their babies may foster social behavior in some adults with autism, French researchers said on Monday.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Feb 18, 2010 7:01 am by csweepigirl

» **********echo*******************
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Jan 31, 2010 11:16 pm by KelleyNNelson

» Any ideas on how to make a gluten regression easier for both child and family?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Jan 06, 2010 9:47 am by csweepigirl

» Hi! Long time no see.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Dec 21, 2009 3:04 am by KelleyNNelson

» Hellooooo? Need some freakin' help here.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Dec 15, 2009 8:50 am by man of a million names

» Cats or dogs? Summer or winter?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Nov 23, 2009 6:47 am by man of a million names

» Mozark and the whale *aspergers movie* on showtime on demand.. SUCKED by the way
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Nov 23, 2009 6:42 am by man of a million names

» Adult Aspergers Syndrome
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Nov 22, 2009 4:07 pm by KelleyNNelson

» Asperger’s Syndrome: A Developmental Puzzle by Michael McCroskery
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Nov 22, 2009 12:22 pm by csweepigirl

» Really Cool Super Awesome Thing! Kim And Kelly You Have To Read This!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Nov 20, 2009 4:24 am by man of a million names

» 2 Articles of Interest Re: Aspergers
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Nov 19, 2009 6:15 am by csweepigirl

» Accidently stubled across some info about meletonin oops!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Nov 10, 2009 2:41 pm by csweepigirl

» Lack of Services for ASD
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Nov 09, 2009 8:04 pm by Dr. Ron

» New and having a hard time
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Nov 04, 2009 3:40 am by lovethefish

» Sorry I haven't been around as much (update)
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Nov 03, 2009 10:53 pm by KelleyNNelson

» Having a hard time again
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 20, 2009 8:35 am by man of a million names

» Important paradox/riddle! Anyone care to help with it?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Oct 19, 2009 10:46 pm by KelleyNNelson

» Follow through or not.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 15, 2009 4:01 am by csweepigirl

» New Pediatrics Autism Study Putting Prevalence at 1 in 91
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Oct 14, 2009 11:45 am by csweepigirl

» Different Directions
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 09, 2009 12:41 am by csweepigirl

» AS is a very difficult diagnosis to make.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 08, 2009 1:47 pm by csweepigirl

» How is everyone?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 21, 2009 9:48 pm by Jerry Graham

» CD to benefit the AAA ~!!!!! Check this out!!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 21, 2009 11:14 am by bassfiddlesteve

» I met Joe Diffie's son!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 20, 2009 8:01 am by csweepigirl

» Anyone feel like helping me smack the crap out of my former boss?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 20, 2009 7:56 am by csweepigirl

» Lazy or Aspergers?? or both?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 20, 2009 5:20 am by man of a million names

» The right thing?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 15, 2009 7:27 am by man of a million names

» Mark Fowler and his wonderful work.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 13, 2009 5:51 am by man of a million names

» A.A.A. RESEARCH STUDY. Do you see any differences between females with Aspergers vs. males with Aspergers
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 10, 2009 1:49 pm by csweepigirl

» What happened?? because I don't know, do you?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 10, 2009 6:24 am by man of a million names

» Haha, Funny URL.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 09, 2009 9:15 am by man of a million names

» Dude! Kim, I forgot to tell you... and maybe anyone else at the last meeting...
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Sep 05, 2009 4:59 am by man of a million names

» My son is making strange noises!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 04, 2009 11:41 pm by KelleyNNelson

» Terrible sound on video
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 04, 2009 9:30 am by man of a million names

» Aspian or Aspergian?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 04, 2009 7:22 am by man of a million names

» If you, or you know someone who needs a BIG/HUGE carseat..
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Sep 04, 2009 12:33 am by csweepigirl

» Just a quick hello
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 02, 2009 7:37 am by man of a million names

» We started the FLDRS process...and here's what we found out so far
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 02, 2009 7:19 am by man of a million names

» Support Groups
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSun Aug 30, 2009 1:31 pm by KelleyNNelson

» (Aspergers) Boy Meets Girl Movie
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Aug 25, 2009 8:13 am by man of a million names

» I give up, with trying to ever just relax, really.. I'm so flustrated!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Aug 24, 2009 9:15 am by man of a million names

» Basic White or Yellow Cake
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Aug 22, 2009 6:33 am by man of a million names

» When did this category get here?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Aug 22, 2009 1:55 am by man of a million names

» Pork Fried Rice
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 20, 2009 11:17 pm by man of a million names

» Why Are The Private Messages Still Disabled????
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 20, 2009 10:48 pm by man of a million names

» Sorry I've been M.I.A.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 19, 2009 6:04 am by man of a million names

» 5Km Run For AS!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 14, 2009 11:30 pm by man of a million names

» Help for a mother.
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 12, 2009 12:01 pm by Dr. Ron

» Aspergers and empathy
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Aug 08, 2009 11:41 am by csweepigirl

» We are the three amigo(a)s!Aanyone care to join?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 07, 2009 12:42 am by man of a million names

» Vaccinations, Red Book, What?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 06, 2009 12:21 am by Dr. Ron

» What is the first step?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 05, 2009 7:14 am by Dr. Ron

» Children who can’t cuddle
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeMon Aug 03, 2009 1:27 pm by csweepigirl

» Challenging popular myths about autism
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Jul 31, 2009 10:59 pm by Dr. Ron

» I NEED your HELP!!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeSat Jul 25, 2009 2:41 am by melissa

» Ok..what do I do? any suggestions..
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeFri Jul 24, 2009 3:53 am by melissa

» Back home!
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 22, 2009 2:10 pm by KelleyNNelson

» Any spanish speakers willing to help an aspie in spain?
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeWed Jul 22, 2009 1:34 pm by csweepigirl

» Gluten Free Simple Bread
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Jul 21, 2009 11:49 am by csweepigirl

» More research (genetics)
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good* I_icon_minitimeTue Jul 21, 2009 11:43 am by csweepigirl


You are not connected. Please login or register

ten things every child with autism wishes you knew *this is good*

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

csweepigirl

csweepigirl
Admin
ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:

1.) I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (​uncoordinated,​ not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.

As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic,​ you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?

2.) My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:

My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!

My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.

Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated.​ The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.

3.) Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #​$​%​^​*​&​^​%​$​&​*​………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

4.) I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”

Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

5.) Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.

Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

6.) Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.

I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation”​ may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.

7.) Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,​” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.

8.) Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.

I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”

9.) Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.

Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.

Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestina​l problems can all have profound effects on behavior.

10.) Love me unconditionally​.​ Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you -- I am worth it.

And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They may have had autism too.

The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestria​l life -- what future achievements from today’s children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?

All that I might become won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll see just how far I can go.

Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum