American Asperger's Association Support Group

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No, I'm not okay right now..not at all

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1 No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Sat Jun 27, 2009 7:45 am

csweepigirl

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Seriously, my grandmother is NUTS!!!!! Now I live right freeking next door. I see her every single day. Today she wanted to go out to eat, so my mom said she'd take her as soon as she got her work done. Everything seemed okay. Grandma went back next door. My mother went over to tell her she's ready, and grandma was in an "episode" This is not new, but still scary, it still makes me angry and scared, and pissed. Grandma was saying "nobody really cares about me" "my family doesn't love me" and her eyes change when she's like this, she looks, well crazy. The scariest part of her episodes is her depressive tone. It is "known" that worst case scenerio is that she will commit suicide, or go the other way and become homosidal. I know this because years ago she was in an "episode" and pulled a gun to my "biological father" and while he deserved it, it also proved she is capable. She was fine earlier, now she's all depressive and weird. I dont know how she is going to be, mentally, when they get back from dinner. After her outburst, my mom still took her out to eat. I'm shaking, having anxiety, and I just want to sleep through this. I can't wait until she moves away!!!!! There is no way anyone can make my grandmother "normal" She is on NO MEDS!! She blames the way she is on US!!! If she says anything else tonight, I will call 911 and have her bakeracted, if that is something I am able to do. She needs help, and is hurting me, and hurting everyone around her. This is a much longer story, she has been doing this crap since before I was born. I don't know what to expect tonight. She may write notes and tape them on all her windows like a psycho. She may break things. She may come over and tell me how nobody loves her, She may act like nothing happened. Who knows?? What I do know is I can not deal with this. I don't know how. I just hope and pray she moves soon and takes her depressive episodes to somebody else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 Re: No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:11 am

man of a million names


this is very concerning, kim. is there anything i can do to help? i really have no experience with this stuff, but she sounds like her mood swings very drastically and uncontrollably, and i've heard my grandfather was like that. he died last year, and i never got the chance to know him, and if he was as you described your grandmother, i'm glad i didn't. but i'd really like to help you, so if there is ANYTHING i can do, please let me know.

3 Re: No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:27 am

csweepigirl

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Thanks! Just being able to vent about it and having someone understand is very helpful. Ya.. good thing you didn't have to meet your grandfather.

4 Re: No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:51 am

man of a million names


ok. if you're fine, then ok. but really if there's anything i can do to help, please tell me Smile

but my grandfather. yeah, he was bipolar and an alchoholic. and he was also unmedicated. he WAS on lithium for a while, but he stopped taking it. but just like he was extremely bad unmedicated, he was extremely good when he was... and the good behavior of his made me want to meet him..

5 Re: No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:42 am

csweepigirl

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update: Well grandma tried playing "emotional blackmail" with my mom, but my mom can stand up to her, and she told my grandma to knock it off NOW LOL. Now things are like nothing ever happened. So, grandma's happy I guess.. I'm glad it didn't last long this time. I WISH and WISH my grandma would go on meds. She thinks that meds will make her unable to feel?? ummm.. no, they will prevent psychotic episodes. I should record her, then play it back so she can hear what she does when she's psycho. That's my next plan. Or... I can bring the tapes to her doctor and say "Please Please medicate this woman!!" My grandma is nice and I love her, when she is herself.......but more often than not, she is either depressive, controlling, emotionally blackmailing, etc.

Thanks again, hugs

6 Re: No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:51 am

man of a million names


uhh. emotionally blackmailing, huh? doesn't sound like fun. i think you should record her, OR secretly medicate her. yeah, i like that thought. that's a good idea. kim, you should do that. be like a ninja. lol.

but i very much hope it turns out well. hopefully if she becomes any more bothersome, i can help. but what does she have?

7 Re: No, I'm not okay right now..not at all on Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:04 am

KelleyNNelson

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Wow, somehow I must have missed this whole thread... I must not log in often enough. Crap, I'm sorry Kim. Jeez. You definitely have to do what you have to do to take care of you and your family. It sounds like she needs professional help of some kind, and even if she did get it, medication or whatever, who knows if she'd keep up with it... you know? I'd be afraid to live next to that too.

That's a lot like what it was like living with my real mom... which is why I'm glad we keep it to short visits rather than anything else. Even the short visits can be horrifying at times... Especially when she claims to "forget" the bad things she does. It's mentally, physically and emotionally draining. 10 fold with children involved.

As Chris said, anything I can do... lemme know. If you need a place to stay for the night, or somewhere to get away, you know where I live. You guys don't even have to call or email first, just come over. I'll even give you a key. *hugs*

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