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Anyone feel like helping me smack the crap out of my former boss?

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KelleyNNelson

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Background: After nearly 3 years, I was "let go" because of missing work too much, even though they had told me it was OK, they were behind me 100%, etc. I was missing work/coming in late because of my son's issues as well as my own health problems. They kept telling me everything was OK and that my health and family comes first. When I first started this job, the employees told me that basically, there was nothing I could do to get fired... Once hired, nothing could get me fired, you're in for life. Not that I was taking advantage, I had legitimate reasons, I could have produced documents.... they just always said it wasn't necessary.

So, one day, out of the blue, my boss Mike calls me into his office. I'm thinking "Maybe this is it, maybe he's finally going to talk to me about my absences and we'll figure out a solution or something. At the very worst, some sort of disciplinary action." Well, I was right on some level... it was about my absences... only he "let me go." The terms were wonderful, 2 weeks notice (actually, 2 1/2 weeks), a glowing letter of recommendation and a status of rehireable if my life ever leveled out. In the same sentence, he also told me I was one of the top 3 producers of work, even when I was maybe only working 6 hours a day 3 days a week, I was producing as much work as the 40 hour a week people. I told him I wasn't going to beg for my job, but I willing to switch things around or do whatever it took to keep my position or even move to a different position.

I soon found out that after Bryn-Alan (another former employer of mine and a much larger photography business) went out of business, many employees went searching for jobs at Reedy. One fit the bill for my position (sort of), and was willing to work for a few dollars less/hr. than I was making. (of course I found all of this out much later, and I assume I was not supposed to know this.) My last week there, I got to train her on I'd say about a third of what I did there, since it was slow season and all, and most of what I did was 6 months away. Luckily, she turned out to be a really cool girl, otherwise it might have been really awkward.

I know I've prattled on here, but you see how I got severely shafted here. I stay on good terms with the company, not because I want to ever work there again... because I wouldn't, not if they begged me... but because they have several items that I would want to use for my own personal business and they're local. That's the only reason I've ever stayed on good terms with them.

In fact, I keep Mike, my former boss and asshole who fired me, as a friend on Facebook. Recently, we've been arguing a little politically, but we both know that our political views are extreme to the max. But, this morning, he posted this little nugget, and it perturbed me to no end and it made me want to just go down and beat the crap out of him... especially after what he did to me.

Mike: Men of low degree are only vanity and men of rank are a lie; In the balances they go up; They are together lighter than breath. Do not trust in oppression and do not vainly hope in robbery; If riches increase, do not set your heart upon them.
2 hours ago • Comment • Like



Of course, I had to reply... I mean, it was that or literally going down there and doing something drastic, which I obviously did NOT want to do. This was my reply:

Kelley Nelson: Hmmm.... Interesting. So you are saying everyone sucks? Especially those of rank, like yourself and those you associate with the most? Seems rather pessimistic, don't you think? Especially when all you hope for is to increase your riches. Just my opinion.

Not trying to always come down on you lately Mike, but man oh man, what are you trying to say here? You’re saying that I’m vain for wanting more than I have because I can’t afford clothing for my kid right now for some unknown reason, but people like you and everyone in the higher ranking business you associate with lie and cheat and cannot be trusted and will only rob you, especially when their riches increase... especially like yours are doing? What do you want me to think here? People like you and everyone else in the higher ranking business you associate with lie and cheat and cannot be trusted and will only rob you, especially when their riches increase… especially like yours are doing? What do you want me to think here?
2 seconds ago • Delete


What do you think.... Over the top?

I emailed this all to Colin, his first response was this:

"Jeez, Kelley, it’s an old quote. I don’t think he meant anything personal by it, although you know him better than I do. Don’t you think you’re taking it a little personally?"

To which I replied:

"After all he did to me? Yes, I take it quite personal. I don’t care if it’s an old quote, new quote, something he made up… In the profession he’s in and the friends he has on his facebook, it’s not something he should be posting. It makes me want to Rip his flipping head off."

And then he replied back:

"OK sweetie, I guess I was just trying to understand why it got your goat so… To me it just sounds like your typical dry Judeo-Christian exhortation to live a life of moderation and non-materialism. I could see where you can take it otherwise though, particularly when you consider the semi-professional forum that is Facebook."

I replied once more:

"Well, especially when I know he doesn’t believe that way, Christian or not. The whole reason he fired me was money related and for profit, and all lies. And he dares to put that quote somewhere I can see it? Of course I’m pissed."

And he also replied once more:

"Well, hey, I’m all about giving the finger to hypocrisy. Smile Lambast away! I love you, baby."


Mike has not replied, by the way. Nor do I expect him to.


ETA: Well what do you know... Mike replied.

Mike’s reply:

"This is a quote from King David in Psalms 62. He is talking about not trusting the wisdom of man and that all power and authority comes from God. So the point would be we are all human and we falter at times and the lust of material things can corrupt us easily. The desire to care for our families is the proper desire, the desire to drive around in a Lexus to be cool and show your obtaining of wealth is bad. If you are blessed with wealth then the desire should be to help those in need not waste it on self gratifying items."

Of course, this angered me even more… considering the source and what he’d done to me, and that I was only looking out for my family when he kicked me to the curb in search for more profit.


My reply:

"I realize where the quote comes from… (Not really, just don’t want to seem like a total idiot, ya know) but it just seems a little hypocritical coming from the source, that’s all I was trying to say if you catch my drift. Especially given my specific circumstances and all, along with yours and your peers. I mean, where was my help when I needed it most? Just sayin’."


Jerk.

csweepigirl

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Pretty much what I gather from this is that he is admitting that he himself is corrupted by material things.. but then he had his snarky " Well, hey, I’m all about giving the finger to hypocrisy. Lambast away! I love you, baby." which confuses me. Pretty much he put a quote on his facebook that he does not live by obviously. I can understand why you got pissed. I am christian, but ya know I'm not about to put something like that up on my facebook for spite, which I feel he did. He knows you are on his friends list. Maybe this dude is just wanted to fight today?

KelleyNNelson

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You misread that part... there's a part in there where I was talking to Colin. Colin said that. Wink I mean, I always had my suspicions that Mike had a crush on me, but I don't think he'd actually tell me that he loved me. Razz

There's even more going on now though between Mike and I which I may post later.... when it's all done.

KelleyNNelson

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More back and forth on his Facebook:

Mike:
"If you need food, clothing or shelter, just say the word. But I do not make provisions for cell phone, cable and other optional bills. I, in times past struggled or thought I was struggling. I set priorities and dumped the things I did not need for daily survival. What we want and what we need are two opposite things. I have seen people with a BMW and a Mercedes actually ask for money when they made no attempt to sell some of what they had. They wanted to maintain the same lifestyle and expected other people to provide it for them. I can introduce you to people who would without a doubt think you are a wealthy person based upon the things you have versus what they have. I can show you people living in a structure with no running water or power with a dirt floor. They are satisfied with what they have. They are happy. No matter how much we have, someone always has more. Sorry if you feel I am being hypocritical. I will examine myself and work on correcting that perception."

Kelley Nelson:
"Food is slim, Shelter is getting paid for, barely. My cell phone is my phone, I do not have a land line, nor ever have. It's cheaper for me that way because I do not get any of the extras. I do not have cable except for $20 internet for which I use for my business, which I see as necessary. Trust me, we have dumped everything that is necessary and are struggling. My problem is that my computer is 6 years old and dying, I do not have the money to replace it. My big TB drive with all the space on it died, I do not have the money to replace it. I went to install a newer version of Photoshop on my computer, it didn't install properly because the old version was on the drive that quit so therefore couldn't uninstall properly, so my old version uninstalled and I cannot find my old disc to re-install and even if I could, I don't know if it will. In other words, I have no business even if I wanted to have one... So yeah, I'm feeling a little left out in the dark here. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with my family and my life, it is just disparaging when at 30 I have to go back to the basics and start looking for part time minimum wage jobs yet again because I got "let go" for really no other reason than profit. And then you post this. Yes, I take it personally. You make a nice wage, get great bonuses. You have two nice cars, you have a nice house (even if you rent) and live in a nice city. I am left with little. My husband's company has frozen promotions and raises, so we get no extra money this year. I have $25 in my bank account and nothing left on my credit cards. Do I want my job back? No. But don't get preachy on me when you yourself have done the opposite of what you preach, please."


At this point, Mike messaged me personally, saying simply:
“Let me see what I can do”

I replied:
“Mike, I'm not asking you to *do* anything... I'm just explaining my situation to you and why your post hurt me so deeply, that's all.”

To which he replied:
“Stan (owner of the company) and myelf have taken a 35% cut so we can keep people on. (bullshit - Mike himself has told me that they are the only company turning a wonderful profit) Your replacement actually is a greater expense to the company. It was never about money. It was about being out 49% of the time. (also bullshit - I'll explain part of this in my reply, but also Mike had told me himself that the girl he hired was to replace myself, who had become more part time, and another part timer for one full timer. This girl's income did not even come close to what both of our income's combined were) To this day I tell people you were on the most effective and effcient employee I have come across outside of Jacque.”

Jacque is his assistant, by the way and works for salary. If she worked for hourly, I bet she'd barely make minimum wage. She's always there and works like a dog. I feel bad for her.


My reply to all of this was:

"And then I trained my own replacement whom I found out that was making about $2 less than me. Not that we talked about it, it just came out that about what you were paying her vs. B-A had been paying her and I did the math vs. what I was getting paid. I didn't tell her what I was getting paid. To me that's profit. Especially the way I got no notice, how you had always told me everything was always OK, family and health comes first, how I never got any reprimand before hand, how the company was always run... Everything we talked about beforehand. You never had a problem with it until Bryn-Alan went under and suddenly you found a replacement that was willing to work for less.

That is a slap in the face for all I have done for you, especially if I was that important to you. All you had to do was talk it out with me if I was such a good employee, but all you could see was the bottom line. Hell, I would have even taken a pay cut if that's what you needed. I could have changed my hours around, unfortunately you already had your hire and were not willing to deal.

You wrote to me "The desire to care for our families is the proper desire" This is exactly what I was doing during my missed time, and you know it. Not only was I helping my son, I had to help myself and my step-mom and my dad. I am not living with my step-mom and dad anymore, that frees up a lot of my time. My health is better, the medications I am on finally seem to be helping... it seems I finally got the right mix. Yes, I still am in constant pain with my back, but I have medications that help some. My migraines still occur, not as frequently, but when I get them I seem to know how to handle them. As far as Richard goes, well... He's still Autistic. He always will be. We are treating him to the best of our abilities with all the care we can. He will always have good and bad days... We force Richard to go to school every day... He's doing better with his sleep, for the most part... He hasn't had too many wakeful nights, maybe a couple, but we seem to be managing it with diet and melatonin. I explained all of this to you in multiple forms as we were experimenting with different things both with myself and Richard, by email, in person and by phone... I'm sorry you couldn't understand this if this is all truly what it came down to."

csweepigirl

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Wow.. I curious to hear his reply now. I'm guessing it will be an apology, I would hope at least that!

man of a million names


He sounds like a big anus to me hahaha

KelleyNNelson

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Yeah, so far no reply. Either he got busy at work and he'll reply to me tonight, or he decided that he's not going to grace me with a reply... which might be the case.

KelleyNNelson

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More replies. More BS.



Mike:
"We had a power outage for 40 minutes and that was fun to get everything back up plus getting things done that we had promised. So now I have some time to write before I head home.

I am glad things have improved for you. That is what I would want for anyone.

My decision was based upon the fact our customers were suffering from you being out. They came first. Their work was getting out later and later. I just couldn't make up the difference and still accomplish the things Stan expected of me. The fact that BA had all these people in need of jobs play a factor, yes. It provided an opportunity to fix a problem that needed to be fixed. It provided an opportunity to give someone a job that also needed full time work. Do I feel good about how this all worked out, no. Do I wish we had enough slots to fill all the lost jobs from BA, yes.

She may have started $2 less but that did not stay that way plus she worked 40hrs + and will need to this fall. This creates more labor dollar expense and increased payroll tax for the company from the increase in labor cost. Expenses are not just a dollar an hour amount. Replacing you is costing us more money. Before her pay increase her checks averaged 40 more a week than yours from the overtime.

I still believe in my heart that this will be better for you and your family in the long run.

Everyone is in a hard place right now economically. I don't know of anyone that has had a pay increase. Know many that have taken a cut and / or furlough days. You are not alone by any stretch. Sharon's husband lost his job last week. My pay decreased but all of my expenses have increased just like everyone else. My daughter is in braces and that is an expense that can't be eliminated. One of our cars is a lease which is now about up. Four years ago replacing it did not seem to be a problem, now it is with the cut in pay. Our house lease is up next month and facing another increase there. Landlord also wants to sell the house which means a very real expense of moving or buying it. Do I think I am in any kind of financial peril? Absolutely not. I have been down enough bumpy roads and have enough faith to know it will all work out. I may not know how right now, but it always does. The future of the photo industry as we know it is very shaky. Don't know if there will be a photo industry in five years. I am not going let let that get me down either.

The point of the original post was to get people to think about putting to much trust and faith into man and material things. These were not my words so it is not I who is being preachy. The reason I place a quote from the scriptures every once in a while is in hopes of creating a dialog with someone. This is something new for me and has been a learning experience. I know that you had once stated that you don't believe in God. I guess the only thing I could try and say about that is when you look at a building you know that there was a builder. When you look close at creation, don't you wonder about the Creator?"



Kelley Nelson:
"As I recall, you told me she was replacing both myself and Sarah who was also working part time. Therein lies the profit. Two mostly part time jobs for one less paying full time job.

I understand I was out a lot... again, you knew all about it and why, but you guys didn't even give me a chance to try and fix things or warn me or anything. That was the slap in the face. It was your decision to hire a new person full time, give her a raise (nice by the way, I never got a raise at 90 days...) plus give her overtime rather than keep me on part time-ish and maybe hire on another part timer to pick up the slack during busy season when things got busy. If you recall, when I first started, we had a lot more people and then suddenly I was doing more and more of every one's job myself, eventually working less hours even after Richard started school and my husband got his new job. Sure, we had a little less school customers, but I had taken on a new position; the scanning room full time along with my normal work load, along with helping out in the book room and the cutter whenever possible. I'm sorry if this girl cannot keep up or live up to the expectations and you have to pay her overtime to pick up the slack, this is not my fault. Please do not imply so.

As far as your money issues... yeah, well... what can I say? You told me the lady was looking to sell the house when you moved in, you knew that was a possibility way back then. Leasing cars (as far as I'm concerned, and I'm not trying to be derogatory here) is about the dumbest investment you can make... because it's not an investment. I suppose you could say the same about a house or an apartment, but a car is a much smaller investment and the payments end up to be about the same either way. In my opinion, braces are cosmetic and optional, and therefore not necessary. Again, not being derogatory, just my opinion. I had them young, it turns out in the end I didn't need them, just a little minor mouth surgery, and it ended up ruining my teeth forever. So you see, everything is relative depending on your point of view.

I know my money issues are mostly our own fault, I'm willing to take the blame for it... As I said, most of it is credit card debt, plus we bought that car back in October. If I knew we were going to be leaving my parents' house, we never would have bought it, we would have gone for something used or much cheaper... But we can't sell it now because we wouldn't get out of it what it's worth. Maybe next year.

If you think you did the right thing for me, well then I'm glad you can sleep better at night that we have to dig out of the piggy bank to go to the grocery store sometimes in-between checks. Am I doing better? Well that's relative also. Sure, health wise, I am doing somewhat better, we've got a somewhat better handle on Richard... In other words, the things that were bothering you are better yes. In pretty much every other way possible, we're doing pretty crappy, but thanks for asking. Oh wait, I guess you didn't. No, I don't let it get me down, not every day anyway. We still have fun as a family, enjoy ourselves and all. But there are days where it does get to me, I have to admit. I feel a failure to my family, and it's not a good feeling.

Since you asked, I consider myself Agnostic... which means I'm open to the belief that there may be a higher being or beings, but at the moment, and for at least the last half of my life or so, I have been rather skeptical about it for several reasons, which I consider to be personal. I am not resistant to hearing scripture, I don't mind it. But there's a reason they call them "preachers," because they speak the scripture. You spoke the scripture, therefore you were preaching. I didn't agree with what you had to say, in fact found it rather hypocritical because of my dealings with you... and as you say, opened up a "conversation" with you about it.

Mike, you know I've respected your opinions in the past and we've had many an amiable conversation... but you have deeply hurt me in this whole matter. I haven't let it show before now because I didn't want to offend you or Reedy in general... but I couldn't help myself here. Firstly, because I was going on little sleep and I tend to get cranky when that happens, and secondly as I said, the particular psalm you picked hit an overly exposed nerve and I felt the need to express my feelings."

csweepigirl

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No I'm sorry all of this happened.. this is the last thing you need right now * nobody needs added stress and bs* I was hoping he would give you a heart felt apology. I guess he really is a jerk. Hugs

KelleyNNelson

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More... and now I'm really pissed.

Mike:
"I am about to do something that I doubt many or anyone has ever done to you. I am going to let you have it. So if you are not up for the same level of criticism you dish out then just stop reading now. I do this out of concern not spite.

If my posting a comment about not putting faith in men and material things feels like a slap in the face then it did exactly what it was suppose to do. That means it struck a nerve with a problem that you have. If you don't put your faith in God then it has to go somewhere else. It seems that you are disappointed and upset with me. That means you put too much faith in me. I am a human. I will and do make mistakes.

You want to talk about slapping someone in the face? What about you! I want you to know I do not feel this way about you but want to point some things out. I always let you have full control of your schedule from day one. You had the complete freedom to adjust your work schedule around your personal needs. WOW, what a rare opportunity to have that from an employer. WOW, you even got paid for hours you did not work during the slow time. Guess there is no sense of appreciation or understanding on your part how great you had it.

When Colin got that wonderful raise last October you were so happy and I was sincerely happy for you and your family. You want to know what started right after that raise, you missing a whole lot more work. Being out an entire week at a time. Not once but three times. In a four month period there were only three weeks you came in all five days. All the other weeks were a dismal attendance record. You see, I had to sell to myself that it was time to part ways. Customers were calling Stan complaining about work being late. Customers were calling me and complaining. It is my job to deal with those angry phone calls. It is also my job to fix the problem no matter how painful the solution might be. I am sure you think that I should have done something else. But I did not. No matter what decision one makes, it can turn out to be the wrong one but a decision still has to be made.

You seemed to have lost a desire to work here. You made no attempt to alter your schedule. It is not my job to get you to show up. That is your responsibility. You had the freedom to do whatever worked best for you, not what was always in the best interest of the company. Then Dave calls me and asks if he could ask you to help him out. I only said yes because it was Dave. Once again, talk about slapping someone in the face. There was a Saturday you worked there after not coming in here at all. That speaks volumes to me your heart was no longer in working here. At the same time I am getting resume after resume from people that need and want to work. Faced with angry customers, an upset boss and being compassionate about lots of people being out of work, does it seem so outrageous that I let you go? Then I guess I am such a bad guy because instead of letting you go with no notice I gave you two weeks notice. Do you really think I believed you were going to fully train your replacement and that was my sole motive for keeping you those two weeks? Did I not give you the option of not staying those two weeks? Anything that did get passed down would have been a plus and you did teach her some things but by no means did you truly train your replacement. Do you not think that I was not criticized for keeping you those two weeks and the possible damage you could have done with being disgruntled? That was a huge risk I took by giving you two weeks to get things in order for becoming unemployed. You know full well companies escort people off the premises when they let someone go. You were treated at the opposite end of that spectrum. Once again something that seems to have been lost in understanding what was done for your benefit, not what was in the best interest of the company.

You have this knack for making everything someone else's fault why you have such a rough time. Here is a statement you really need to learn. No Excuses, Just Reasons. Stop all the excuses.

It does no one any good to keep saying my son is autistic and always will be. If I took that same attitude with my own children and the problems that they face (which you know nothing about) I would become the same angry and bitter person you have become. You need to understand he is your son and that is all he is. I have friends who have birth children with far worse problems than Richard. They have many children. They do not define their children by their weaknesses but their strengths. That is the way we should approach each person and ourselves. I have weakness and shortcomings and you seem to have no inhibitions in pointing them out. Well, it is time you started to take accountability for your own actions. Something you have not done with me or how you treated your employer.

To be angry and criticize someone of making more money than you, come on. Here is a clue, no matter how much money you make, someone will always make more money than you. You think I am about money and material things since you say I am hypocritical for my post? My wife and I choose that she not work. She has a BS in Sociology and Criminology. You don't think she could not get a very well paying job. When she did work she always made more money than me until the last year she worked. If I was all about money why would we we make that choice. After she stopped working, (which was actually brought about from the company she ran for eight years closing because the owner did not want to work in the business any more) we struggled. We even got to the point where we were three days away from having the house foreclosed on. So you can not begin to think I do not understand what hard times are like. Good grief our house payment was $330 a month and we couldn't keep up with that.

So what I do know about being in debt is no excuses just reasons. We made a lot of bad choices and never planned for bad times. Most people make that same mistake. It is all about taking control of what you are responsible for. It is your responsibility to not get in over your head. It is your responsibility to get out of it. It is your responsibility to keep your job if you want one. People always want to be treated as responsible adults right up to the point when they screw up and don't want to take the effort to fix the problem themselves. There is nothing wrong with asking for help but the effort has to be done from within.

Kelley, once again I apologize if you feel I treated you unfairly. I apologize that I came across as intentionally hurting you and your family. Also know that I have forgiven you without you asking how you have treated me and this company. We are human, we sin, we fall, we need to forgive and grow from our mistakes and trials.

I only wish the best for you and your family.

Mike

PS- Paul Draper's grandmother passed away last night. This makes all of our bickering seem rather silly does it not?"




Kelley Nelson:
"All things aside, let me get one thing straight... this has absolutely nothing to do with my son nor his autism. How dare you bring that up and throw that in my face? You don't know what Autism is or what it's like bringing up a child with Autism. I didn't bring your kids into this, nor do I care to, whatever their "problems or issues" may be. You're lucky enough to have a wife at home to be able to take care of them full time. We do not have that luxury. I have never and will never use it as an excuse nor a crutch. If anything, very few people with the exception of the people who know me the best even know about it. In fact, I believe there were very few at work that knew of his autism. Sharon, Sue, Lisa... Maybe Gizmo, only because he asked about why he'd changed so much. That's it I think. I don't even like talking about it. I had to talk about it with you because for one, that's why I was out for 2 weeks straight... In JANUARY. Not in October, after my husband's raise. I was out occasionally in November for nerve blocks in my back. I can get you doctor's notes if you want, but you knew about all of my doctor appointments, they went on your calendars. The third week I was out in January was out of sheer depression. I could not get myself out of bed because I was left dealing with a cycling nearly manic-depressant child who at a whim would melt down and beat and kick me when things didn't go his way for two weeks straight. This, if you recall is when I started seeing a psychiatrist for depression. You, like many others I assume and think Richard is spoiled, I see it in your eyes like many others when I speak about it. You know nothing. Why don't you look up autism and educate yourself?

I often speak of his strengths, and if you'd have paid attention, I was always going around boasting about him at work. To you as well, I believe. Did you know he can read at a 1st or 2nd grade level at age 5 and goes to special classes to do these things? Or do math at a 1st grade level and will go to special classes for these as well? I've been boasting about his reading and number skills forever, like since he was 2. Did you know that he knows practically every make and model of almost every car on the road? You should... That's another one I talk about frequently. I'm very proud of my son. I love him dearly. How dare you say I think otherwise?

You want to know what my days were like back then? If Richard was resisting school, I had to call in late, help physically restrain him to get him dressed and then drive while my husband physically restrained him in the car until we got to school. Then, we got to carry him, kicking and screaming all the way to the classroom and then leave him with him begging us not to. Then after we get back home to get the other car, I get to go to work, do whatever it is that I do... I apologize if I wasn't as enthusiastic as you'd have liked me to be about it at that point. After work, I got to leave and pick up my son and take him back to my parents' house, where when my little sisters got home, it would be a constant battle because he wanted to play with them. They didn't want to play with him because all he wants to do is play cars. Why? He's autistic. He fixates on one thing - again, look it up. It happens to be cars for him. The girls aren't into that. So I got to spend 5 or 6 hours holding them apart, with my son yelling, kicking and screaming for the other kids to play with him and the other kids ignoring him until my husband got home so I could go relax for an hour or so until it was time for our bedtime routine. So if I didn't always have the company's best interest at hand, pardon me. If I seemed a little disenchanted with my job, pardon me as well. Things plain went to shit shortly after we moved in with my parents, which is exactly why we moved out. But the thing of it is that I got the brunt of all the bad stuff, and I wasn't exactly holding up, I felt a failure as a parent, and had many other feelings that just made me feel worthless to everyone. Nobody gave me any support. Not. One. Single. Person. No one had the time. And that includes you, because you never cared to listen or brushed it off as "me making excuses again." You just have no idea.

As I mentioned before, we don't have the luxury of having a full time parent to take care of him. I made the less amount of money, so when something went wrong, it fell to me to take care of him. In other words, I had to miss work to take care of him when he'd been up all night not sleeping (which if you look up autism, is a common symptom) and then he'd finally pass out from pure exhaustion when it was time for him to go to school. Is that an excuse? Sure, call it one if you like. I'll just leave my sleeping son by himself and go to work because it's better for *your* company. When he was melting down fully to the point of us not even being able to restrain him and get him into school, again... am I supposed to just leave him home and go to work anyway? What did you expect me to do Mike? Really?

And you know I was having serious health problems, most of it stemming from Richard's increasing behavioral problems, which unfortunately stemmed from our moving in with my parents. It was something we never would have guessed would happen, but it did. I tried to deal with my health issues the best I could. Some of them had been there long before, but got worse. Others appeared out of nowhere and took me by surprise, like the depression. I'd never known depression like that before, and I hope I never do again. Luckily, I have good doctors and good insurance, but unfortunately it also meant that I had to miss some more work here and there... again, I'm sure I can produce doctors notes for you, but they'd all be on your calendars.

As far a the Dave thing goes... He happens to be my friend too, ya know? He happened to email me last minute for me to call him, I even emailed you about this. Look back through your emails. This was the week I was going through my depression. I called him, told him I couldn't do it because I hadn't even been to work for you in god knows how long. He told me about their situation and that it would only be for a few hours on Saturday. Honestly, this is what I needed. I needed time with an old good friend for a while doing something I loved. I know, composites... but I love doing them, what can I say. So finally I told him sure, I'd do it. I even told you it was not anything personal and I hoped you'd not take it that way. Obviously you did. Plus, quite honestly, I needed the money at that point since I'd gone so long without working. It did me good seeing Dave, it did me good being in an old familiar place, working on an old familiar machine, doing old familiar jobs... Especially by myself. It gave me a lot of time to think things through, and by the next day, believe it or not, I was a different person.

I don't make excuses. When I do something wrong, I fully admit it. I've never brushed something off onto anyone else in my life. You may think you know me, you don't. You especially don't know the hell I was going through during those last four months of my employment. And I don't think you would have cared even if you did. You also don't know the hell I went through leaving my parents in the lurch by moving... My dad still won't talk to me or have anything to do with me for it. But we had no choice. They may lose their house because of me, I'll have to deal with that... but we had no choice.

As far as all the opportunities you gave me, I always graciously accepted them and thoroughly thanked you. I always offered to pay you back for the money you gave me, and you always said not to worry about it. That was your choice to do so, and again... I always thanked you for it. Don't try to go back and guilt me about it now, it has no bearing on this situation. I was kind of stuck in those hours at that point with Richard at school... I didn't know what to do. The thought of working late nights didn't really hit me until the proverbial shit hit the fan and smacked me right in the face, and again... at that point, you were not willing to deal.

You are right about one thing though. We all do make mistakes, and you're right. Mine was that I did put too much faith in you. I trusted you. I trusted Stan. I trusted the company to understand and help me through my difficult time. I'm not angry nor am I criticizing you for making more money than me, that was never the point. We've all been through rough patches, hell, I've been through rougher patches than this... homeless once, living out of a motel and the good grace of a friend for a week until I could get back on my feet again. I've come a long way since then, and I do accept (and I mentioned this before) the responsibility for my debt at this point... But you know what? It likely wouldn't have gotten this out of control if you guys could have believed in me that things were eventually going to even out, because you know what? They did. How 'bout that.

Forgiveness doesn't mean a whole lot to me, besides I don't feel I've done a thing to be forgiven for anyway, other than live my life and care for my family the best way I know how. But you know what I do believe in? What comes around goes around.

Regardless with all that said, I do wish nothing but the best for you and your family as well... I would never wish harm on another human being.


Please give my regards to Paul, I feel terrible for him in his time of loss.

But by the way, that was pretty low by bringing this up in this particular conversation to use it to make me feel guilty about our disagreement. It didn't work by the way.

Oh, and by the way... if you think you're the first or even one of the first to "let me have it," you're sorely mistaken, I promise you. You must have me mistaken for someone else."

csweepigirl

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WOW.. ya.. I'm speechless at this point. I can say this Kelley, you don't leave anything out, which is good. You know what you are talking about, and come across very strong. I wish I could write like you.

csweepigirl

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and you addressed everything he said. I don't see any "excuses" only reasons. I'm really shocked that he continues to keep writing. How dare he throw in the guilt trips, I would have felt bad, but you knew exactly what he was doing. I need to take lessons from you, really.

KelleyNNelson

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csweepigirl wrote:WOW.. ya.. I'm speechless at this point. I can say this Kelley, you don't leave anything out, which is good. You know what you are talking about, and come across very strong. I wish I could write like you.

Heh... I was given the gift of writing, not speech. This is why I usually like to communicate this way. I think it's because I have plenty of time to actually think about what I want to say, if I can't think of a word I can look it up, and I can read back over it (usually several times) to make sure it sounds right. When I talk, I'm usually a bumbling idiot and stumble over my words.

KelleyNNelson

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csweepigirl wrote:and you addressed everything he said. I don't see any "excuses" only reasons. I'm really shocked that he continues to keep writing. How dare he throw in the guilt trips, I would have felt bad, but you knew exactly what he was doing. I need to take lessons from you, really.

Yeah, he's really full of shit. I hope he quits after this, I really do because he's only putting his foot in his mouth further and further... And the guilt trips? Those are just to make himself feel better. Luckily, they don't work on me.

csweepigirl

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Sounds that way *him being full of it*..he really needs to stop. How long did you work for the company overall?

KelleyNNelson

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Sorry Kim, missed that last post of yours. I worked for the company for nearly 3 years in the end. And PS... he never did respond to the final posting of mine, either just in an effort to let things go or because he finally realized that I was right. I'm betting it's the former, because he's bullheaded and will never admit defeat, ya know?

csweepigirl

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What a jerk

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